Leyline Queen
by embrace-your-inner-dork
Summary: Courtesy of the strange way Aisha's mind works, the crew has learned the power of on-the-fly parody, for such things as upping Melfina's self-worth, mocking Suzuka behind her back, or mocking Aisha to her face. Crack!fic.
1. Leyline Queen

~||~Leyline Queen~||~  
  
It was a typical night...well, it wasn't really but...anyhow Gene was at a nightclub (how surprising) and who knows where the heck Jim was. So that left the girls of the crew at home. Aisha turned on the radio, Suzuka mumbled about how "idiot" Gene had broken her katana earlier, and Melfina was silent. When she finally decided to say something, it wasn't very pleasing.  
  
"I don't think I deserve to be on the crew...or with Gene."  
  
Aisha gasped. "What the heck are ya saying Mel?! You're the most important girl in the whole stinking  
  
show!" Mel looked over to the other side. "Suzuka?" She finally stopped complaining, at least temporarily,  
  
considering she was too busy gaping at Melfina. "Sorry, but I'm going to have to agree with Aisha." Aisha  
  
thought for a moment, then she got an idea from the radio.  
  
"You are the dancing queen..."  
  
"Suzu, come here! I've got an idea!" Aisha pulled Suzuka back behind the sofa. "So then we'll....uh-huh....." She continiues whispering into the assassin's ear until the plan was down-pat. "Please, Suzu?"  
  
Aisha pleaded. "All right, but you owe me big, Clan-Clan. And I mean BIG!" Suzuka retorted. "We got a big surprise for ya, Mel!" Aisha screeched. "Bring in the backup singers!" Suzuka turned on the karaoke machine while Aisha brought in a whole bunch of backups. And they started...  
  
  
  
"Friday night and the lights are low  
  
Gene's being chased by Fred Luo  
  
Sure he's the one who pilots  
  
But you control it all  
  
You can unlock the key  
  
And when you wanna be...  
  
You are the leyline queen  
  
Young and sweet  
  
Only seventeen  
  
Leyline queen  
  
Feel the beat from the XGP, oooh  
  
You unlock, you control  
  
And you get Gene Starwind too, oooh  
  
See that girl, so pretty  
  
She is the leyline queen...!"  
  
  
  
Well, that certainly cheered Melfina up...everything except the Fred Luo part, anyhow. As Aisha said, "We needed something that rhymed." And that kept her spirits up for quite awhile.  
  
  
  
  
  
THE END! 


	2. Oh Aisha!

~~~~~~~~~~~Leyline Queen Chapter 2: Oh Aisha!~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
The night Melfina was affectionately dubbed "Leyline Queen" by her friends' parody, Aisha went awol. She snuck downstairs for a midnight snack- -or so it seemed. By morning, she had eaten every scrap of food they had! Of course, the others found out the hard way...  
  
".......BUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP!!"  
  
"Alright, where the *bleep* did that come from?!" Gene roared. "Uh, Aniki...." Jim meekly retorted while pointing toward the kitchen. Gene sweatdropped. "Oh, right. I knew that."  
  
"Sure ya did," sounded a voice from the kitchen. "Aisha? What the *bleep* did you--" Gene was cut off once he saw Aisha as fat as a blimp, and realizing--  
  
"THERE'S NO FOOD LEFT! Aisha Clan-Clan, you are going down." Gene took out his caster. All of a sudden, Melfina jumped in front of him. "This is no way to solve anything!" she screeched. "But Mel, she ate everything in the house and I'm broke," Gene whimpered. "Being broke's your own stupid fault," Jim mumbled. "What did you say?" Gene threateningly asked. Melfina sighed. "I'll lend you money, Gene. Just take it and go, please.""And don't spend it on anything at the bar," Jim retorted. So Gene left, and Suzuka decided to come down, now that the worst was over.  
  
Aisha's trusty radio was still on, and she moaned, "Could you guys make up a parody song about me?" Of course, everyone was ticked off with her for obvious reasons. But all three of them had a wicked plan--Aisha-bashing. And ya know what song they used?  
  
"...Aaron, oh Aaron..."  
  
They worked out the plan, poor Aisha not having a clue what they were doing. But one problem...who would do the voice role of Aaron Carter/Aisha? Both girls looked at Jim. "Awww man, I can't believe I'm doing this..."  
  
"Now we've got a surprise for you, Aisha," Melfina stated, trying to keep from giggling. Suzuka turned on the karaoke and Jim grabbed the microphone. And he sang...  
  
  
  
"Well, I guess the best way for me to begin, is,  
  
the other night, I was hangin' with some friends  
  
Then Mel said 'I don`t think I'm fit for Gene',  
  
So me and Suzu told her 'You`re the leyline queen'  
  
But then after that I got really really hungry,  
  
So I ate everything, then Gene almost killed me!  
  
Now I'm as fat as the Goodyear blimp,  
  
And now I can't walk, crawl, or even limp!"  
  
Then Melfina and Suzuka joined in.  
  
"Aisha, oh Aisha, what are you going to do?"  
  
"Aww man"  
  
"You`re eating us all out of house and home"  
  
"What?"  
  
"And out of money too!"  
  
"Okay..."  
  
"Aisha, oh Aisha, what are we going to do with you?"  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"A Ctarl-Ctarl always pigging out,"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
Honestly, you are a fool."  
  
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!"  
  
  
  
Well, that sure taught Aisha a lesson. ^.^  
  
  
  
~The End~  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N--I don't own OLS (darn) or Aaron Carter's "Oh Aaron" (yay). Let me know if you want any new chapters. I accept ideas, comments, flames, whatever! Oh, and BTW, I'm not an Aisha-basher, they just happen to be IN THIS FIC ONLY. So don't kill me if you're an Aisha fan. Please. 


	3. Suzuka, the Mystery Girl

Leyline Queen chapter 3 - Suzuka, the Mystery Girl  
  
  
  
Soon after all the food got replaced and Aisha had gotten her just desserts (no pun intended), it came that time. Yes, the beast-girl's 19th birthday. So, there was a party and all that jazz. The dude from the bakery came (they had ordered, of course) and brought five cakes, ordered so that some would be left for the others. Anyway, Aisha walked in the house and everyone jumped up, surprised her, the like. After she left half-a-cake for the others, the Ctarl girl bounded into the living room, waiting for her presents. "...well? Where are my presents?" Aisha demanded.  
  
"Um..."  
  
"Uh..."  
  
"What are ya waiting for? Go get them!" Aisha screeched. Gene leapt for the couch (his was under), Jim scrambled for his computer desk, Melfina sauntered into her bedroom, and Suzuka scrawled out a note, then left. Aisha grabbed all the presents and tore them open, one-by-one.  
  
"...An Easy-Bake oven! Thanks Jimmy!"  
  
"A coupon? 'Good for one free buffet dinner.' Ya shouldn't have, Mel!"  
  
"...Lazer Tag?...I'll kick your sorry butt at this, Gene Starwind!"  
  
After basking in her presents, she decided to see what Suzuka's note said. "Had to leave. Gift is on your bed." Aisha zoomed to her bed to find...  
  
"A CATS DVD!!" She immediately gathered the others up and popped it in the DVD player. "I've never seen this, but I know all the songs by heart." Aisha bragged. Everyone watched quietly, except for Aisha, who was singing along. During 'Skimbleshanks', however, they all decided on something. Another parody. And since Suzuka wasn't there, she'd be the subject. Gene had fallen asleep by now, and Jim wasn't gonna sing again, so it ended up being Aisha and Melfina. Which made perfect sense because the ones singing the song they planned on parodying were Bombaularina and Demeter. So, the song began, and so did the parody...  
  
"Suzuka is a mystery girl, she's called 'Twilight' by all,  
  
For she's a master assassin who can defy the law  
  
She's the bafflement of Heifong Five, the Centinel's despair  
  
For when they reach the scene of crime SUZUKA ISN'T THERE!  
  
Suzuka-san, Suzuka-san, there's no one like Suzuka-san,  
  
She's broken every human law, and now she's got a master plan  
  
Her powers of mutilation would make a pirate stare  
  
And when you reach the scene of crime Suzuka isn't there!  
  
You may seek her in the basement, you may look up in the air  
  
But I tell you once and once again SUZUKA ISN'T THERE!"  
  
"That was fun!" Aisha screeched. A familiar voice sounded, "Oh, it was, was it?" Aisha and Melfina looked around, then noticed who was at the door. "...Suzy? Uh, oops..." The assassin gave them a deadly glare. "I heard the whole thing..." The Ctarl and the bio-android stared at each other, then at Suzuka, then back at each other.  
  
"Uh-oh..."  
  
  
  
The End...for now.  
  
  
  
A/N: I don't own Outlaw Star, nor do I own CATS. Yeah, I wish. There will be two more chapters. I know what the last one is gonna be, but I need help on what song I should parody for Jim. R&R, flames accepted, blah blah blah. 


End file.
